Things are pretty good. Everything is moving smoothly. When I step in to the yoga studio, I know what to do. My heart isn’t pounding. My head isn’t pulsing, and my appetite hasn’t gone to Mars because I’m too scared to eat. No, no, those things don’t happen. Not anymore.
But they did. And often. When I first started teaching yoga, day after day, I’d do something new. I’d teach at a new studio. I’d teach a new class level, with new practitioners. For me, doing new things is a guaranteed woozy-maker, a nausea-inducer.
But these days my appetite has come back. My voice is steady, and I can breath deeply without tears of fear welling up in my eyes.
Phew, sweet relief.
But wait, what’s this? I’m feeling that part-nauseas/part-thrilling feeling of doing something new, all over again. I thought I was done with all that!
So I use this feeling as a guide. It’s an uncomfortable but reliable one, at best. This feeling tells me to keep going. It tells me I’m on the right track, and that I shouldn’t stop. It helps me clear a path into the great unknown of absolute greatness.
This feeling says, “Everything is going to be ok, and soon you’ll have a cookie.”