The Dating Project, the newest segment here at The Inside Voice! We’re talking to sexy, successful and smarty-pants women to find out what they really think and feel about dating. Because being single doesn’t mean you’re ALONE.
Let’s meet Laura!***
1. How old are you? 25
2. Are you in a relationship? Nope. I never dated in High School. I didn’t have a real relationship till my sophomore year in college.
3. a) Place in order of importance: Work, Friends, Relationship, Other.
Work is number one. I’m currently in transition with my work. So that’s the most pressing thing right now. But soon I’d like friends and relationships to be tied for number one and work to be after that. Basically I’m looking for a better balance.
b) What’s holding you back from prioritizing friendships and relationships? I’m from California, and I came to NYC for a great job and the hopefully a great career. But I guess I don’t know if I want to be here if my work isn’t here. And then why would I get into a relationship and start a family here?
Hmmm, that seems to be a whole other conversation about where to raise a family, how much involvement your parents will have in your life, etc. Oh boy, we’re just getting started.
4. Can you spot any patterns in past relationships?
Yeah, I run away when things get too close. As soon as the guy, or the relationship, takes up too much time in my life, I run away. It happens over and over. I really like a lot of alone time. I guess I need to find a balance with that too. For some reason though, men find that hard to understand, that I really like to spend time alone.
5. Rate yourself, on a scale 1-10:
6. Rate yourself, on a scale 1-10:
Attractiveness-Now, I’m a 6. But six months ago, I was a 4.
My mantra over the past 6 months was “Lose Weight, Feel Great, Will Date.” My best friend and I decided to focus on losing weight and meeting the man of our dreams. And of course feeling better about ourselves too. So going to yoga is part of that whole thing. I’ve lost a lot of weight, and I feel more attractive. Yoga’s really great because I feel like I’m discovering my body in a whole new way. I did the boot camp stuff too and it totally worked. Meanwhile, my friend found love, and now she’s engaged to a guy she met online and moving to Santa Fe to be with him. So I feel a little behind, ya know?
Wow, that’s quite a story! I’m so glad you found yoga as part of your wellness regime.
7. What are 3 barriers that keep you from meeting a guy you like?
My self-confidence in my appearance definitely gets in the way. I’m not sure how appealing I am. I still feel like I’m not there yet. I still have more weight to lose. Also, people say its hard to date in NYC. I’m not sure if it’s the whole city but seems like people don’t really connect. Also, my parents and the rest of my family is in California. I’m still not sure if I’ll start a relationship and settle here. It’s possible, I’m just not sure.
8. What does your dating life look like now?
Now? Nada. In the past I did online dating. I was on OK Cupid, Match.com. and JDate. My last online date was three months ago. I decided to stop paying to have my sites active.
9. What attributes are most attractive to you in a partner?
I want someone like my dad. I want a “good guy”. No NYC slimeballs. I want a nice boy, someone funny, cute (or cute-ish). Like a solid, moral guy. I’m a little scared it’s not possible in NYC.
FYI, I met my very nice gentleman friend here in NYC. So it’s possible!
10. a) What does your perfect love life look like?
I want a relationship that still gives me space. I want someone happy and funny. I want someone to tell all the stupid things that you tell your closest friends. I want someone I can have cute babies with! Also, someone I can buy sheets with, a buddy, a partner.
b) In a word (or words), what does that scenario feel like? Happy, not lonely. Excited, Bright, Thrilled, Cheery.
11. Last question. Gotta ask, Do you believe in “The One”?
No. But I do believe it only takes one.
Inside Voice Wrap Up: Laura is super fun and whip-smart. But don’t let her fool you–She’s as beautiful on the outside as she is on the inside. I didn’t know her pre-weightloss but I can sincerely say that she looks like she’s healthy and sexy, just as she is right now. Laura is the fireball in her family, and moving to NYC from California was no small deal. Even her 80-year-old grandma thinks she’s bold and spunky, and supports her fully. As does the rest of her family. Laura is supported and loved. The only missing piece to finding a loving relationship will come from the inside. Luckily, Laura is incredibly self-aware and proactive about her happiness, so love will come fast. She wants to be happy and totally confident in her own skin. And so she will be. She wants to find meaningful work, and so she will. As for the NYC thing, that’s just crazytalk. When Laura is comfy on the inside, she’ll be ready for Mr. Just-Like-Dad to come into her life. Doesn’t matter what coast she’s on. Love happens all over the place!
***Some names have been changed, some haven’t. Each woman has the option to use her own name or choose her fantasy pseudonym. I’m not telling which ones are which. Hear these women’s voices. Listen to their stories. They’re just like you!