When Blondie, a totally gorgeous, charming, happily married, intelligent, self-made, yoga teacher guru-type-person gives me dating advice, I listen. Or more specifically, when she gives her 10-year-younger self dating advice, I listen. And take detailed notes. Here’s how it went down:
Me: “What Advice Would You Give Your 10-Year-Younger Self?”
Blondie: Stop Testing.
Me: Whatever do you mean, Blondie?
Blondie: You know, being bitchy. Throwing tantrums. Not wearing make-up. Going out in sweatpants. Refusing to cook. Making him come to my neighborhood for dates. Throwing more tantrums. Also, farting. Testing to see who would stay. Every guy left. Except Mr. Blondie.
Shocked! How could this flower of a person be so irrational, so grotesque, so……normal?!
My world will never be the same.